Getting Myself Into
by blueRena
Summary: Sasuke and Naruto used to be together. Sasuke broke it off. Naruto won't let it go. OneShot; Yaoi; SasuNaru in case it wasn't obvious enough . Rated K


**Alright, I know, I know - "This isn't _By Your Side_." Nope. Wanted a little break. For a while now, I've wanted to incorporate a "break-up" like situation. But, I've waited to do anything with it. In all honesty, I wanted to use something that wasn't _Naruto_, but, alas, it is. -smirks-**

**The songs used are "More Than Useless" - Relient K, "Almost Lover" - A Fine Frenzy, and "Getting Into You" - Relient K. -laughs- I really wanted to put the line from "Getting Into You" into the song. And it's where the title came from. I claim no ownership to the songs; they belong to their respected artists.**

**Characters aren't mine, I -sadly- don't claim ownership. That privilege goes to K. Masashi.

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Naruto was sitting in a corner, his knees hugged tightly to his chest. Had he been in the public eye, he'd never be seen in such a position; never. But, because he was hidden away in his own room, a place where he didn't have to worry about anyone seeing him, he could show his weakness. Maybe, even if he were in public, he'd still be like this. It was hard to tell. He _had_ just about broke down in front of Kiba. Even letting his best friend see him in such a way was something Naruto wasn't sure he could live down.

The music blaring from his iPod could be heard throughout the household.

_I feel like I would like to be somewhere else doing something that matters,_

_And I'll admit here, while I sit here, my mind wastes away and my doubts start to gather,_

_ What's the purpose? It feels worthless, _

_ So unwanted like I lost all my value--_

The abrupt change brought about an even more unlikely song for the blonde's usual happy-go-lucky demeanor.

_Your fingertips across my skin, the palm trees swaying in the wind,_

_ Images._

_ You sang me Spanish lullabies, the sweetest sadness in your eyes,_

_ Clever trick._

_ I never want to see you unhappy; I thought you'd want the same for me._

_ Goodbye my almost lover, goodbye my hopeless dream_

_ I'm trying not to think about you; can't you ju--_

Naruto coughed, trying to hold back his tears. He was unsuccessful. The tears trailed down his face. He couldn't help the fact that he'd really cared about that bastard, he couldn't help that he'd devoted himself to the bastard, and he couldn't help that the bastard didn't want him. More tears.

"Damn... it," he whispered, his voice barely audible from how long he'd spent crying. He hugged his knees as close as possible to himself. If the pain would just subside already, the blonde wouldn't have to deal with feeling so vulnerable.

Hours passed. Finally Naruto got out of that position, his body protesting. He'd been like that for far too long. His hand reached out, shakily, for his phone. Grasping it, he flipped it open and saw that he had a voicemail. Before even venturing to listen to it, he wanted to see who he had a missed call from. If it wasn't worth listening to, he wasn't going to waste time to do so - because he could spend that time sulking.

_One missed call - Sasuke._ Naruto felt as if his heart fell into his stomach. He didn't know if he wanted to listen to the message, but he felt the hope that Sasuke could want him back; Sasuke couldn't have possibly meant what he'd said before, could he? No, of course not. Naruto hurriedly went to the voicemail.

_"Hn. You didn't answer your phone. You better not be sulking in a corner bawling your eyes out. Or ignoring this call just because it's me. That'd be childish. I called to tell you I'm moving. Don't try to contact me. Ever. I'll just change my information. _

_ "Look, you know as well as I that we couldn't work. I'm the head of the Uchiha clan; to be associated with someone.... Well, I've already explained myself to you. There's nothing more to say. Goodbye, Naruto."_

Naruto let the phone drop to the ground. He fell to his hands and knees, weeping. His hope that Sasuke would take him back was utterly destroyed when he heard the tone Sasuke had said "You didn't answer your phone." He lifted one hand and grabbed at his shirt. Slowly getting to his feet, Naruto realized something. Sasuke thought it wouldn't work. He thought it wouldn't work because of Naruto's situation. If Naruto changed that, then it wouldn't be a problem. Without thinking it through, Naruto took his phone and called Sasuke.

As the other line connected, Naruto felt himself get nervous. He didn't want to talk to Sasuke - he wanted to talk to Sasuke's answering machine. Yeah, it was cowardly, but it was the truth.

_"Don't leave a damn message."_ That's Sasuke for you. The beep sounded.

"Sasuke! Who's not answering now?" Naruto practically screamed into the receiver, except for the fact that his voice sounded strained from all the crying. He didn't care that Sasuke would hear that. "Look, I can _make_ it work! Just don't... Don't say goodbye like it's so final, Sasuke! Let me prove myself! We _could_ work! We _could_," Naruto broke off, a choking sound being the last sound on Sasuke's message; the blonde hung up to prevent Sasuke hearing his sobs.

----

Sasuke was leaning back in his chair, feeling, quite honestly, lost. He didn't feel like doing anything now. He wasn't sure that he didn't want Naruto back. In fact, the whole "we couldn't work" thing he'd said to Naruto was because Sasuke knew it was better for the blonde to be without him - without something that found itself wanting to taint something so pure, wanting to cage something so wild and free. And it was difficult to come to the decision to let it go, but it _had_ to be done.

Otherwise Sasuke would have the feeling nagging at him for eternity. The fact that he was moving wasn't a lie. And if Naruto called trying to get back with Sasuke, he figured he really would change his information; he didn't need to keep the blonde's hope alive. The raven knew that Naruto would try to get back together with him. Because they truly did have something special. But Sasuke didn't want to hurt the blonde anymore; being with Naruto was hurting him, whether the blonde realized it or not.

They weren't meant to be - two guys in a loving relationship was frowned upon. He didn't need Naruto getting all those looks on the street and getting called all of those awful things. And it was because those others couldn't understand their love. Which was why Sasuke ended it. He didn't want Naruto to go through all the emotional pain he'd face being with another guy.

Being lost in thought, Sasuke hadn't even felt the vibration of his phone in his front pocket. The reason he happened to look to his phone was only because he needed to check the time; he was out at the park, and needed to be home with enough time to go to sleep to have energy to get through the day tomorrow.

"He called back," Sasuke muttered, feeling a pang of mixed feelings. He felt almost rejected because it meant the blonde had been busy with something else. He felt relieved because secretly, he _wanted _to hear Naruto's voice. He listened to the message.

He grimaced as he heard the anger in Naruto's words. His heart had a sinking feeling as he heard the cut-off choking noise at the end, knowing that it was the result of hours of crying. Even before the choking sound, Naruto's voice had sounded strained and on the verge of breaking at any second. On impulse, something the raven wouldn't have done had it been anyone else, he called back. Even more than that, as he called back, he began walking, knowing where it was he wanted to go.

The other line was ringing; once, twice, thr--answering machine. He ignored the call.

_"Hey, Naruto Uzumaki here! ...PYSCH! Haha, leave a message!"_

"Naruto, I know you won't avoid me forever. In fact, I'm honestly surprised you just ignored my call. I'm not going to say anything else. Besides this: _I'm coming over._"

----

"_I'm coming over."_ Naruto felt as if his heart stopped. Had he heard the message right? Sasuke was going to come to talk to Naruto _in person_? Fear filled Naruto's mind at first. The bastard was going to come to _his_ home and talk. After all of this, the poor blonde felt like he just may throw up.

In the back of his mind, he thought that maybe, just maybe, Sasuke had reconsidered. But he couldn't let that hope shine at all. No, he needed to be skeptical of this. He needed to look like he hadn't been locked away in his room for the past day and a half.

Naruto hurriedly changed into an orange shirt and some black gym shorts. Looking into the mirror, he looked at how his hair stuck up at all sorts of different angles; he wasn't going to do anything about that. He liked his hair that way.

Making his way down to the front door, he realized that his music was still on. And still blaring. And still break-up music. He didn't want Sasuke to be hearing that. Especially not after that voicemail. Naruto really didn't want to prove Sasuke right; not to his face.

He rushed back to his room and shut off the music. Running back to the living room of the small home, Naruto wondered what he could do to make it seem like he wasn't just waiting for Sasuke to show up. Of course Sasuke would know that he'd rejected the last call. Of course the raven would be a bit angry about that.

"This is my last chance to convince him it was a mistake," Naruto said aloud. Talking to himself was slowly turning into a habit of his. "He'll come here, see that it all was a mistake, and then take me back. And everything will be good again.

"Yeah, right," Naruto sighed. As if it would happen like that. There was the hope again, and he let it out.

----

Sasuke was standing on the step leading to Naruto's front door. He wasn't sure how to really approach this. Just walking into the house was too... rude at a time like this. But he didn't want to ring the doorbell and wait for Naruto to drag himself over to answer the door. Inhaling deeply, he grumbled under his breath as he reached over and rang the doorbell, then opened the door. Easy enough of a solution.

What he hadn't expected was to see Naruto standing in the living room, looking as if, well, he hadn't done anything for the past couple of days. It was painful to realize just what kind of toll this had taken on Naruto.

"Hey," Sasuke began, unable to look at Naruto without feeling remorseful, but unable to keep his eyes away for too long either. Naruto was quiet - something out of the ordinary for the blonde. Sasuke felt responsible for the change. It _was _his fault, after all. But, he never expected him to take it so roughly. Naruto looked almost... defeated. Something Sasuke wasn't used to seeing in him. No, the blonde was always such a strong person, as if nothing could get him down. It was such a contrast to Sasuke's neatly put-together appearance. Another blow to Sasuke's conflicted feelings.

"I," he paused, trying to think of the right words to put together. Usually he was so constructed, so sure of himself. He thought he'd be able to be such in front of Naruto this last time, but he'd been mistaken. Horribly mistaken. "Maybe it's best if I just go, instead."

Sasuke slowly turned himself back to the door. It never felt so hard to turn his back to Naruto before. He was so vulnerable - in such a state that he'd never let _anyone_ see him in, and here Sasuke was, having seen him and now trying to leave because he couldn't quite face what he himself had done to the person who'd meant the most to him.

"Don't go," Naruto said, though, once again, his voice sounded on the verge of tears. "Don't. Just," a pause. Both were trying to put the right words together, hoping to convince each other of what was the right path. "Just stay for a while. I wanna talk about this. Please."

The begging tone of Naruto's voice was what decided it in Sasuke's heart. He couldn't just leave his _ex_-lover like this. _Ex-lover,_ the raven thought in his mind, wincing slightly. He nodded and took a few cautious steps toward the blonde.

"Thank you," Naruto whispered, sounding like a small child. He couldn't help it. Seeing Sasuke made it feel like his heart was being constricted. It hurt, but he loved it. He loved being able to see him. Because it meant that there was still some sort of chance, right?

"Sasuke, we ca-"

"Look, Naruto. I told you, I'm moving. Long distance relationships never work. Besides," Sasuke let himself trail off, though it hardly went noticed.

"I can move with you. I don't have much to take with me, and it's not like I have parents to stop me," Naruto let out a small chuckle, sounding better than he had for the past day and a half. Sasuke let the smallest grin appear on his face.

"There are people out there against us-"

"There's always been people against us, whether we're together or not. I _love_ you, Sasuke. That's all that should matter." That hit home. Sasuke felt himself loosing his cool demeanor. Naruto was the only one who was able to make him do so without it being in anger.

Yes, Sasuke wanted to be able to say he loved Naruto too. But that would make all he'd been trying to do so much harder. Build Naruto's hopes up just to send them hurdling back to the cold grasp of reality when he had to tell him that no matter what, it just wasn't going to happen.

But, Naruto's points were sounding more and more valid; not just him clinging desperately to what used to be, but valid points that both knew to be true and unchangeable. It hurt. It hurt more than Sasuke had thought it would.

"Naruto. We can't-"

"Don't you," Naruto stopped. His words seemed caught in his throat. He wasn't sure he wanted to say what he was about to say. Because it seemed selfish and as if he were trying to trap the raven. While knowing that Sasuke wouldn't be pulled into a trap so easily, Naruto didn't want Sasuke thinking he was trying to do so. That just made the blonde feel underhanded.

"Don't you... have a number to change?" Naruto sighed. He closed his eyes, trying to hold back the tears. Sasuke inhaled sharply. Seeing Naruto struggle was the breaking point. It all clicked into place for the raven. He'd been idiotic to want to "protect" Naruto from those bigots who can't understand how love isn't something only a man and woman can have with one another. That was the least of the blonde's worries, he realized at that moment. It didn't matter to him as long as they were together.

"No." Sasuke grabbed Naruto's hand and pulled him close, hugging him tightly. "You're coming with me. Pack your things now, _Asshole_," Sasuke smirked. The last word, though those who didn't know the two would think insulting, was used between the two because of the long-standing rivalry they'd had years ago. Naruto felt tears falling uncontrollably, but not for the reason he'd expected.

"Sasuke," he breathed, clinging to the raven. Wrapping his arms around Sasuke's neck, Naruto buried his face in the raven's chest.

_ Do you know what you are getting yourself into?_

_He said, I love you, and that's what you're getting yourself into._


End file.
